Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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