Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
