cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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