I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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