so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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