Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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