he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
