Screwed.edu
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
two words: eviction party
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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