honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
