i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
