I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
