names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
