found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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