Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
