O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
