Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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