i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
