i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
