The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
