biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
