She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
