When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
