Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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