She went from zero to smokin in five shots
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
