ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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