Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
