You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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