I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
