Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
