No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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