go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
