Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
