Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
