About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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