is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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