Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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