tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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