Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
