I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
