so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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