there's paper in my vomit.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
