i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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