I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
