I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
