hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
