She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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