You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
