We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
