i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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