I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
