the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
These tits shall not be calmed
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
