So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
